I particularly like the part of arresting the nearest relative(s) of a genetic profile no one matches perfectly.
A Yale student, naturally.
...Your sensitive genetic information would be safe...The genetic privacy risk from such profiling is virtually nil, because these records include none of the health and biological data present in one’s genome as a whole...
But if they go that far, they'd have it anyway, wouldn't they? It would only be used for $ecurity. It says so, right there on the label. Why profile for sloppy measures like race? We know what team players people like Condi Rice, and Clarence Thomas, and Barack Obama are. Why not profile for traits like those associated with independent thought, and remove troublemakers like Martin Luther King, Jr. before they get started?
The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades- and learn how to hack the DNA database, too.
Oh, that's right. It'd be $ecure. Only the people with the Right Stuff would have access to it.