A Medal of Freedom for Andy Griffith

Et alia, setting a whole new standard for the word "freedom".

Meanwhile in the across-the-board cuts that the D.o'D. has to do to let Congress appear like it's actually doing something, the Missile Defense Agency is going to cut out its' space-based program.

But it does retain its' really intimidating name and contractual payments to the aerospace industry will proceed as normal.

In his own cost cutting efforts, Dear Leader promises to keep expensive armor out of the Hummers used by the D.o'D. in Iraq and recycles an old speech for Veteran's Day.

On the other hand, Russia, China, and India are working up their space programs, with moonbases planned within the next ten years or so, to relieve us of the strain of actually having the most advanced technology in the world.

Here in the home of a thousand points of light, Ayatollah Robertson is doing his best to help with their efforts and promises death and destruction in a fatwah to school boards that actually prefer to teach science in science classes. Not to be out done, Pope Ratso sets the Church back a couple of more decades by reversing John-Paul nuanced stance on evolution and has never really liked the Copernican model of the solar system either. The Board of Education of the state of Kansas has complied by allowing the flat-earthers into the classoom.

A Medal of Freedom for Andy Griffith, indeed.