no reason to be alarmed by bovine spongiform encephalopathy

Just use your duct tape to close any available window or door seals. It might also help if you taped your kids' mouths shut so they didn't eat the cafeteria food.



Umm... we might need to redraw that figure.

LOS ANGELES (AP) -- The U.S. Department of Agriculture on Sunday ordered the recall of 143 million pounds of frozen beef from a California slaughterhouse, the subject of an animal-abuse investigation, that provided meat to school lunch programs...

...Authorities said the video showed workers kicking, shocking and otherwise abusing ''downer'' animals that were apparently too sick or injured to walk into the slaughterhouse. Some animals had water forced down their throats, San Bernardino County prosecutor Michael Ramos said...

Interesting, it appears they waterboard cattle to convince them to go to slaughter. Who knew?

...No charges have been filed against Westland, but an investigation by federal authorities continues.

Officials estimate that about 37 million pounds of the recalled beef went to school programs, but they believe most of the meat probably has already been eaten.

''We don't know how much product is out there right now. We don't think there is a health hazard, but we do have to take this action,'' said Dr. Dick Raymond, USDA Undersecretary for Food Safety.

Most of the beef was sent to distribution centers in bulk packages. The USDA said it will work with distributors to determine how much meat remains...

In other words, a lot of people- mostly kids in public schools- have already eaten it.

Umm... we're probably going to have to redraw this figure too.

But maybe not. After all, you trust your government to tell you if anything's amiss, like global warming or economic problems, right? Surely there's no reason to be alarmed by bovine spongiform encephalopathy.

Just pass me the duct tape, and come over here, kids.