Centri$t$ for Bu$h

At last, an Iraqi moderate supporting Dear Leader:

Al Hakim’s resume is truly impressive. He’s an Ayatollah and a son of an Ayatollah. He speaks fluent Farsi – having spent half his entire life living in exile as an honored guest of the Iranian Revolutionary Guards. As a dedicated theocrat – he allied his sectarian legions of Iraqi exiles with the Iranian army in the Iran-Iraq war. It’s safe to assume that he puts his faith based political doctrines above his country – a trait he shares with his host.

To get a measure of the man, you need to see past Hakim’s wardrobe. This guy is more than a religious missionary. He’s certainly no ordinary politician. You can’t even consider him a military man – although he was the leader of the Badr Brigades – the military wing of the Supreme Council of the Islamic Revolution in Iraq – SCIRI. Still, he’s so much more than that. The source of his political clout is his control over the Shiite death squads that have infiltrated the American-trained security forces.

And there’s more to recommend this man for the task of getting “the job done.” The death squads under Al Hakim’s command aren’t your run of the mill assassins. They usually leave their signature on their victims before grinding them up. Al Hakim’s dedicated cadres like to drill holes in other people’s skulls before dumping the mutilated cadavers on Baghdad’s streets as a warning to any real or potential adversaries.

It’s not yet clear why Bush invited Mister Death Squad to Washington. But let’s not ‘misunderestimate’ the President. This is the same POTUS who thundered from his bully pulpit that “we cannot turn a blind eye to repression because that repression is not in our back yard.” What he failed to mention was that – as the need arises - we would continue to invite vicious torturers and assassins to our front yard for tea in the Rose Garden.

Bush’s media collaborators are already calling Hakim a ‘moderate’ – compared to the mercurial Moqtada Al Sadr. Some death squad leaders are apparently more reliable than others.

What makes Hakim so special is that he seems such a mature thug – the kind of SOB that can be our SOB. The Badr militias have a reputation of being disciplined and heavily indoctrinated foot soldiers who follow the party line. Once they get orders to close down their torture dungeons, Hakim’s loyalists will likely obey his command. Of course, that also means that the torture sessions could only have started with Hakim’s explicit orders...

That's what Dear Leader likes. Grown-up, mature, thuggery. Why, give that man dual citizenship, and he could be a Senator. In either Partei, DINOcrat or Rethuglican.

Thanks, and a dip of the drill to Bernhard.